


Twice in Four Years

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Episode Tag, Episode: s04e20 Evidence of Things Not Seen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-05-23
Updated: 2003-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-30 17:34:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15101642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: Josh and Zoey bond over both shootings. Post-Ep:Evidence of Things Not Seen





	Twice in Four Years

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**Twice in Four Years**

**by:** Mer

**Character(s):** Josh, Zoey  
**Category(s):** Post-Ep: Evidence of Things Not Seen.   
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Summary:** Josh and Zoey bond over both shootings. Post-Ep: Evidence of Things Not Seen.  
**Spoilers:** Evidence of Things Not Seen and general knowledge of Zoey’s relationships with Josh, Charlie and Jean Paul. 

Josh sat at his desk in the dark. Pretty much everyone else had gone home. He had even faked Donna out and pretended to be heading towards his car. But he hadn’t gone to his car. In fact he had simply turned around and gone back to the office. To fake her out even more he had found out about the call forwarding option so all his home phone calls were being sent to his cell phone. 

She had been right he did need to talk to Stanley but he didn’t want to admit it to her. He liked to pretend that he was okay. He liked to pretend that after nearly two and a half years that the demons were gone. But they weren’t. Well they were mostly and had only happened a couple of times in the past six months but after tonight he had a feeling that was going to change. 

His body had gone rigid when he heard the gunshots. At first he thought it was just his imagination running wild. But then the agents had come to make sure the room was secure. When they pulled him into the hallway to explain the situation that’s when the demons really came back. 

His chest had even started to hurt. He hugged the two files close to him to cover it up but anyone who knew him would have known something was up. When Donna came to ask him if he was okay he had pretended that he was. By that time he had regain enough of his facilities to do a better job of faking. Despite Sam’s words to the contrary his poker face wasn’t all that bad, especially when he had worked so hard at hiding it. 

To top it all off the guy he was interviewing was a Republican. One who Donna seemed to find attractive. Then again she did seem to find a lot of Republicans attractive. Cliff, Jack and now Joe. He could only guess that Dr. Freeride was one as well. 

To be perfectly honest Josh’s flashbacks started the day before when Donna got the death threat. Someone who had never met her and didn’t know a thing about her wrote her a letter saying he would gather up a lot of guns and shoot her with them. 

The fact that Josh got similar threats never bothered him. He was a political figure and a public face. Sure he said some things to piss people off, he understood that. The threats showed him how far he had come in life. 

But getting a threat the day after Donna did and on the dame day the White House was shot at was a little too much for him. 

Leo stood in the darkened doorway of his deputy’s office. The outside lighting made it so he was able to make out Josh’s slumped form. He could tell that the man he loved like a son was hurting. 

Josh had yet to notice him though which worried him a little. He knew Josh needed a little space which was why he hadn’t intruded. He also knew that scaring the hell out of him wasn’t a way to help either. 

Josh had made huge strides in the two in a half years. Leo had seen the spark which had dulled come back to Josh’s eyes. He had seen Josh improve enough to be around music and to have him be seemingly unfazed by it. He had seen him handle other crisis’s with the same poise as the pre-shooting Josh. But now a second gun incident had changed all of that. 

Someone tapped Leo on the arm. He turned around slowly and looked into the face of Zoey. She motioned for him to move away from Josh’s office so they could talk. 

“Zoey what are you doing here?” Leo asked. 

“I came here earlier to make sure that Charlie was okay. Once I found out he was I went back to school. As I was sitting there studying for my final when someone mentioned they were re-showing the first shooting on TV. I then thought about Josh. I figured he might need an unbiased friend to talk to.” Zoey replied softly. 

“You’re right I think he needs to talk to someone too. I thought he was okay with what happened but now as I replay what happened afterwards he seemed distracted when he was in the Oval Office and the fact he’s now sitting there in the dark worries me.” Leo replied. 

“I’ll try and get him to open up even if I have to call Donna back here to do it.” Zoey reassured him as she went to Josh’s office. 

Zoey realized she probably should prepare Josh for her visit so she dialed his cell phone number. He answered it after the third ring. 

“Josh Lyman.” He said as upbeat as he could muster. 

“Hey Josh how are you holding up after the recent events?” Zoey said into the phone as she inched closer to his office. 

“I couldn’t be better. In fact I’m just finishing some stuff up and I’m heading out.” Josh lied and Zoey was surprised at how convincing he made it sound. 

“Oh really.” Zoey said once she had reached his doorway. 

“Scout’s Honor.” Josh replied as he spun his chair to face the window. 

“Then why are you sitting there in the dark staring out the window?” Zoey asked, still talking on the cell phone. 

“How would you know that?” Josh asked as he spun back around. 

“Because I’m right here you dork.” Zoey said loudly as she hung up her phone. 

Josh likewise hung up his phone. He made no effort to hide his discomfort. He did however flick on his desk lamp causing a small flood of light to envelop the room. 

“What can I do for you Zo?” Josh asked as casually as possible. 

“I want you to tell me the real reason you are sitting here in the dark.” Zoey said as she sat in the visitor chair. 

Josh realized how remarkably similar she sounded like her mother. He had a feeling an ‘I’m fine’ just wasn’t gonna cut it here. 

“I didn’t trust myself to drive home.” Josh answered truthfully. 

Zoey let out a small gasp. She hadn’t realized just how deeply the three shots fired at the building had affected him. Though she should have guessed it would be more than he was willing to admit. 

“Would you like me to get one of the agents…” Zoey began but Josh cut her off. 

“No, I’d just rather sit with you awhile.” Josh said firmly but softly at the same time. 

“Okay then.” Zoey said as he sat down in a chair beside her. 

She outstretched her hand and he gasped it. She could see the haunted gloss to his eyes and wasn’t quite sure what she should say to him. 

“Is there anything I can get you? A water or beer out of your fridge?” Zoey asked. 

“No but thank you.” Josh replied giving her a quick smile. 

“Donna is probably better at this than anyone here. Are you sure you don’t want to talk to her?” Zoey asked. 

“Yes. I don’t want to ruin her evening. I’ll be okay. This will pass, it always does.” Josh assured her. 

Zoey gave him a look that showed her skepticism. She didn’t comment on it however. Instead they sat there in silence. 

“So you’re going to France huh?” Josh asked breaking the silence. 

“Yes Jean Paul asked me to and I agreed.” Zoey replied with a smile. 

“How did Charlie take the news?” Josh asked. 

“About as well as I suspected, he didn’t want me to go. He doesn’t like Jean Paul and he wants me to stay away from him.” Zoey pouted. 

“That’s because he never stopped loving you.” Josh said gently. 

Zoey let Josh’s words sink in. He didn’t know her reasons for breaking up with Charlie in the first place. Maybe if he had known he wouldn’t be giving her advice. 

“I thought that everything was going okay between you two. I mean I thought that since your relationship had survived the shooting that it was meant to be.” Josh offered. 

“You want to know the reason?” Zoey asked skeptically. 

“It is obviously bothering you, Zoey. I thought I made it clear that you could tell me anything.” Josh said, his own problems melting away. 

“I’m just afraid that you aren’t going to like what I have to say.” Zoey answered. 

“Zoey.” Josh said sternly. 

“Okay here go. You know before that night I was walking around in a haze. I had parents who loved me, a boyfriend who adored me and I didn’t think anything bad could ever happen to me.” Zoey began. 

“Zoey what happened that night isn’t your fault.” Josh said as he squeezed her hand. 

“Josh I helped to put you in that position. I mean even tonight you are still re-living what happened. I never meant to put anyone in that position.” Zoey replied. 

Josh nodded though he stayed silent. He knew that a flood of emotions was about to pour out of her and he didn’t feel he should stop them. Anyway focusing on her helped him forget his problems. 

“After the shooting Charlie and I were different. We were still in love but it wasn’t the same. We were fearful of what might happen and who might get hurt in process. Eventually, I said good-bye to the man I once wanted to share my life with.” Zoey sobbed. 

It hadn’t occurred to Josh just how badly the shooting had affected Zoey. He had spent so much time focusing on his own recovery that he didn’t even think about hers. He had seen their relationship end but he had no idea it was because of the shooting. Her guilt shouldn’t have ended a blossoming romance. 

“Charlie still loves you Zoey.” Josh replied softly. 

“It’s just that I don’t know if I can ever feel the same way about him as I did before…” Zoey admitted. 

Josh was silent and her unspoken words just hung in the air. She knew that she probably shouldn’t be telling him this. This isn’t what he needed to get his mind off of the nights events. All it was doing was bringing him back to the night which caused the problem in the first place. 

“Are you saying that you stopped loving Charlie because of what happened to me?” Josh asked slowly. 

“I guess in a way yes. I was afraid that more innocent people were going to get hurt. I distanced myself from him even when I knew that’s what they wanted. I rationalized it by saying that even you would want me to break up with him.” Zoey answered crying harder. 

Josh opened his arms and Zoey came running to them. She sat there and just cried on his shoulder. He didn’t say a word instead he held her tighter. 

“Zoey it doesn’t matter to me if you love Charlie or if you love Jean Paul. What matters to me is if you are happy. Your relationship with Charlie didn’t have to end because I was shot. And to say that I wanted you two to break up is wrong. I helped push the two of you together remember. I think you should listen to your heart and go wherever it points you towards. Don’t let your mind talk you out of a good thing, believe me I’ve been there.” Josh advised after she pulled away. 

Zoey nodded and she began wiping her tears away. Josh handed her a box of Kleenex. His earlier memories of the shooting were being replaced by images of his two young friends in love. Zoey might not have realized it but her insecurity was exactly what he needed to get the bad images out of his head. 

“So have you made your decision?” Josh asked. 

“I think I need just a little more time.” Zoey replied. 

“Okay then. But now isn’t there a final or something that you should be studying for?” Josh asked. 

“Yeah.” Zoey groaned. 

“Okay then let me take you back to your dorm so you can study.” Josh replied. 

“I’d like that.” Zoey replied. 

Leo watched in the shadows as Zoey and Josh walked down the darkened hallway. He heard laughter from his deputy and watched him walk with a purpose for the first time since the night’s incident. And he knew that by tomorrow Josh would be okay.   



End file.
